Write your "Let Them Go" list today.

G'day my loyal and gregarious compatriot...

One of the hardest things to do in life is to let people go. 

Just a few weeks back I was working one-on-one with a client and the subject came up. This particular individual was struggling with trying to make everyone in her life happy, at the expense of her own personal sanity. Somewhere along the way developmentally she had fallen into the people-pleasing trap. Finding her worth in taking care of others while neglecting herself.

I recommended she do a relationship audit. 

Here's how it works:

First, you write out a list of every person you interact with on a regular basis. Then you put a "-", "0", or "+" next to their name along with a little note to yourself about whether this particular person is adding value to your life or simply taking from you emotionally.

It sounds a bit harsh to rate your relationships. But, I've found (in business and life) you simply cannot manage what you don't measure. 

Once you've done the list and rated the relationships in your life comes the hard part.

You have to begin to cut all of the "-'s" from your life. 

You might be able to ghost a few. However, I recommend saying NO to any invites from them repeatedly. Over time they will get the message and you'll drift apart. But, you'll have a handful of people you need to have the conversation you've been avoiding. 

This will freak you out internally. And, it will test your resolve. But, you'll have to face them and let them know your paths are no longer aligned. Your lives are headed in different directions. And, you're choosing to spend more time on your own.

Be gracious. Don't place blame. And, focus on yourself. 

It sounds selfish because it is. Being selfish when it comes to your own emotional and mental health is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. 

I know my client isn't alone in needing to do the above exercise. She's been faithful in following through. And, she's finally stepping off of the emotional-people-pleasing-hamster-wheel. 
 
So can you.

Here's to choosing yourself...

Steve Knox



PS. Send this to one or two people-pleasers in your life. Set up a time to grab a coffee and listen to them. Then do the exercise together. I guarantee you'll all be better from it.