Family

7 things to do to find your soulmate.

Buenos Dias my tremendously gifted compadre...

At the risk of venturing into sensitive waters, I thought I'd shine a bit of light on this whole life-partner-soul-mate thang. 

I've had at least three dozen requests from the faithful Steverino tribe to share my two-cents on the subject. 

Let me start by saying I've been with my partner-in-crime for the past 16+ years. That doesn't make me an expert. I think of relationships in terms of birthdays. So, technically speaking we've had our driver's license as a couple and are just about to apply for Uni. 

So here goes...

  1. Become a soul worth mating with. I meet a lot of people who want to fix the other person, without investing in themselves first. So figure out who you are and what you really care about before jumping into your next relationship.

  2. Travel light. Everybody on the planet has emotional baggage. The worst thing you can do is bring all of your past bulls*** into your new relationship. Work through it and leave it behind you. Whatever it takes. You don't want it destroying your future.

  3. Figure out your finances. The number one killer (besides infidelity) in creating a lasting, loving relationship is financial instability. Adding unneeded stress in any relationship, especially when two lives are becoming one, is an albatross that will pull you under if you don't get your finances in order.

  4. Practice forgiveness daily. Holding on to past sins will suffocate the emotional intimacy with your soulmate. Literally, it will kill their soul. Acknowledge, work through, and let go of what's not working. Failure to do so will doom your relationship.

  5. Don't compromise on chemistry. Listen to your intuition and your body. Romantic feelings will ebb and flow, but real chemistry will keep a spark kindled even in the darkest of times. And, dark times will come. Believe me. Every relationship faces real challenges. 

  6. Take risks together. This might be the most important thing I can say, but relationships that don't evolve atrophy. One of the best things you can do as a couple is to live an adventure together. There's a delicate balance between security and adventure. Figuring out what works for the two of you will make a world of difference.

  7. See the other person. When you stop paying attention you might as well head for the exit. True story. Your soulmate is not a problem to be fixed. They are a person to be loved. And, the last time I checked love requires patience, sacrifice, kindness, and humility. Oh, and it must be reciprocated. 

These are just a few principles which have helped me become a better soulmate. I'm not sure which one(s) you need to focus on. But, I'd encourage you to break out pen and paper to journal through the above list. 

And, if you're in a relationship which is struggling, the worst thing you can do is ignore the warning signs. Reach out. Don't suffer in silence. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness it's a sign of strength.

Here's to becoming a soul worth mating with...

Steve Knox