Steverino teaches you a bit of verbal karate...

G'day you dangerous beauty you...

A good mate of mine signed up about a year ago for kuh-ra-tay with his young son. Apparently, there's a series of moves that every beginner must master called a Kata. It's anywhere between 20 and 70 moves you're meant to do while maintaining perfect form. Just the thought of my mate in white pajamas kicking in the air and spinning around makes me smile.

Communicating well isn't much different...

I've seen people in expensive suits fail to articulate in ways the people they're hoping to lead can understand...

Parents struggling to make a connection with their kids...

Partners who lack the emotional intelligence to really connect with one another...

And, frustrated employees who just can't seem to be heard. 

There are a handful of moves that you have to master if you want to communicate well. Like being mindful of your body language. Defensive postures like crossing your arms and standing over people are like a round-house kick to the face of whoever you're trying to connect with. Open up and let your guard down. Your goal is to connect.

A harsh and accusatory tone is almost as bad as a punch to the throat. You'll put people on the defensive before you have a chance to be heard.

Overcommunicating and using filler cliches is kind of like punching and kicking the air in pajamas. It's downright silly. Instead, tell stories, listen and for the sake of everyone involved don't try to sound smarter or funnier than you really are. 

In summary...

1. Be open, honest and listen...
2. Seek to understand your enemy (or whoever it is your trying to win over)...
3. Tell stories...
4. And, be respectful of the other person's time, culture, intelligence, and position in life...

Karate is not about violence. It's about self-defense and building character. 

Good communication isn't about winning an argument or dominating a conversation...

It's about making a genuine connection.

Here's to being heard...

Steve Knox


PS. If you still haven't purchased a copy of my new book, Confidence: The Science & Art of Self-Belief, I'm still offering my BOGO deal over at:

https://www.steveknox.us/store/confidence-the-science-art-of-self-belief

I'll be pulling the promo May 1st, so pick up your copy today and I'll throw one in for a friend for free.